its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
