Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
