I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
