My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
