Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
This house was built for laser tag.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize