R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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