What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
