he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
