i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
