Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
