i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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