is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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