So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
