It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
