he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
