I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Who died my cat blue again?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
