i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
