Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize