Your tits are I can't wait for
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
