Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
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