shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
