Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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