You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
