seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize