They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
