hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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