The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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