you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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