New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
