i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
