I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
