4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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