Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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