i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
