I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
