I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
