You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
