to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
