We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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