The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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