the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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