6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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