I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
