I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
How external is "for external use only"?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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