I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
