i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
