I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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