she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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