the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
