Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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