I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
