question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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