So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
