She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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