ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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