Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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