dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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