Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
