i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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