guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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