so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
