I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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