The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
