Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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